even if I pretend

I can't sleep, I can't live in logical and well-organized way. In the middle of the night all the memories come back. 

One day I'll leave it all, I'll forget about sleepless nights and tears and I'll do it only for you 'cause I guess my feelings are fucking tacky, they're not something special and  I'm not sure if I can change myself only for me and because of it  I hope you'll be my strength.