I've been here before

' I don't know why I'm scared,
I've been here before,
Every feeling, every word,
I've imagined it all,
You'll never know if you never try,
To forgive your past and simply be mine '

You've been on my mind.

instead of photos - photos in kind of  ' What I wear today ' because I'm having my camera fixed again.

I really want to have everything fixed but I've never tried to fix my heart by myself, everytime somebody else did it and just for break it again. And today I can say, I don't even trust myself. My choices aren't good enough, I always hurt somebody who cares 'cause I'm still not very mature. I'm tired of it.

I still open the window and breathe the loneliness.

I still have the same bad habits, drink too much caffeine, still swear too much, still have this strange sense of humour and go to the same club in which we met.

Still can't believe in dreams. Do you see it? everything is like it used to be.

Maybe most of things if don't talk about tears and evenings when I still cry looking at your photos. And I can't go to that place where we went together the most, I just can't. 

And today I know I could be yours than not to belong to anybody.

And it this way I waste half of the year.

I want to try

When you feel something is going wrong,

I promise, I will hold your hand.

I don't change mind in one while 
I don't know if you feel inside the same as me, it's very hard.
but I want to try.
Maybe I will never look at you like I used to look at him.
I remember this feeling of proud when I was going with him on the streets, there was nothing better but today he wasn't here. He's miles away.

because of you

I don't have time to wait for something which will never happen. I don't have days, whiles, moments, nights. It's such a shame for us to break apart but now I can see the truth, I realise you won't be here again. 

Never ever. Sleepless nights will end.

keep dreaming

I'd like to keep dreaming, I'd like to still believe, you'll be here but it's high time to stop.
Because some day everything ends and another, different starts. is it better? I hope.
You were the one of my life but you aren't here. why? cause you don't want to be.
When another day comes up I will try not to forget but just to live as normally and calmly as possible because it's better to have hope than to sit and have nothing, do you know that ?